Oh, for the photo I tacked the belt up on the wall in my office, next to a spicy calendar someone gave me. If the heat belt doesn’t do it for you, maybe Miss October will.

As you’ll see if you read most of the other staff’s blogs, we had a great time in the Outer Banks at ESA Easterns. I flew in after everyone, on wednesday, though I got stuck in Nag’s Head for a night on the way down because the storm had forced the closure of highway 12 in Rodanthe. But, I finally got there, amped to get a few of Buxton’s famous brown barrels. Well, I didn’t get any, but had fun getting smashed by some thumping Outer Banks surf. And my boards survived the sandbar dredgers, which is more than i can say for some other people. I saw at least ten broken boards on Saturday alone, and actually watched Shon Lassiter from Rusty snap his board right in front of me on a meaty one.

Aaaanyways, my boards lived through it all …. so I thought. Just before checking in for the flight home, I re-packed my two boards, and they were in tip-top shape. Anyone who knows me is well aware that I’m a meticulous little bastard, so believe me, they were well packed; bubble wrap around the fins (one board had glass-ons), towel in between the two, a wetsuit wrapped around the noses of the boards, and the whole thing sheathed in bubble wrap for an added layer of extra protection.

When I got off the plane and picked up my boardbag, there weren’t any big scratches or trauma to the outside of the bag, so I didn’t tear into it for a status check. Not until two days later did I unzip my bag, when is when the cussing and yelling a started. My fresh 6′0″ Xandadu was destroyed; two of the three fins snapped, the tail broken in half between the fins, and a giant divot out of the tail. “FUCKERS!!!!” I screamed. Well, at least my Lee Stacey 6’2” step up is fine, I thought. On further inspection, it had a big wound too, looked like someone had swung it on to the corner of a sharp table. That board will live with a trip to the ER, but the Xanadu is a total loss. It’d cost about the same to fix it as I paid for the board, which ironically is about what United charged me for bringing it. I’ve been traveling with surfboards for more than twenty years, and I’ve had some little dings here and there, but this is the first time I’ve ever had boards get this f—ked up. Something needs to be done.

So I’m going to be making a claim with United Airlines today, I’ll let you guys know how it works out and if I learn any pointers that I might be able to pass on in case anyone else has this happen. And if anyone reading this had made a successful claim against an airline for board damage, hit me with your winning strategy in the comments section below.

Well, it’s not.

When it comes to learning about paddling technique though, there’s virtually no solid information readily available (although we do have an Ask The Expert with paddle legend Jamie Mitchell coming out in the next issue with some very juicy tidbits). That lack of info is pretty amazing, because it’s what we spend the majority of our time doing when we’re out there–and by a longshot. Correct paddling technique is like a secret martial art, one that’s only taught via smoke signals and oral history. As well, I’d wager it’s the most common overuse injury surfers get. I’ve heard all sorts of paddling advice over the years, and I’m starting to learn that most of it was wrong. I’d love to pass on a few tips to everyone here, but the thing I’m learning most about paddling is that after 24 years of doing it, I don’t know shit.

However, after talking to a few well-respected surfers and some very unofficial internet research, I’ve discovered a few things about what I was doing that were wrong. I’m one of those guys that paddled kinda hunched forward, with my shoulders down, close to the board. Because of that, I’d have to crane my neck up at even more of an angle to look up, which is the first problem. You’re supposed to arch your chest up, which also gives your arms more leverage. The other problem with my stroke is that it transferred much of the work to my shoulder muscles, which is terrible. Ideally, you should be using the bigger muscles in your back, like your lats, etc. Doing this requires a bunch of subtle things, but the main one is keeping your elbows up.

The best info I’ve found so far about this is in regard to swimming, of which there’s plenty of really good technical advice out there. The problem is, while there’s a lot of common parts of a good swim stroke and a good surf paddling stroke, there are some important characteristics that don’t overlap too. At any rate, I put a few videos below that have some interesting technique advice that can be related to padding.

Anyways, I’m going to be seeking out more info on the hidden secrets of paddling technique, and if anyone out there is interested I’ll keep passing along any good info I find out. And if you’ve got some, hit me up.

I think everyone here at the office is completely tired of hearing about my neck, so I’m telling the entire world now. After a week of being in pain I went to the doctor, he just gave me some pain pills, which was nice. Then yesterday I got a massage. That was cool, too, although the lady went to town on me (not that way, unfortunately) and it left me even more sore, but I’m sure that’ll go away tomorrow. I’ve tried all sorts of stuff; stretching, icing it, heat, yoga, muscle relaxants, you name it.

Whatever, I’m just losing it being out of the water, especially as the best season of the surf year looms. Trestles is firing, soon the northwests will be hitting, and I’m laid up like a little bitch. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. Whinge whinge whinge. I’m going surfing tomorrow though. I don’t care anymore. Surfing fixes things. Sometimes it breaks things, too. We’ll see which one it does to me this time.

So we stopped playing for money, and substituted it with beer, which was the best thing to happen here in a while. Suddenly there was a new determination in people’s forehand slams. People showed up to work early and stayed late to practice. Things got serious with the golden elixir on the line. And when you’d win, you got to pick the brand, so we’d always order the most expensive beer the “tweaker deli” down the street carried, just to make it that much more painful for the losers.

That was fun for a while, but it too grew kinda old. We needed a new prize to play for. The next logical step was physical pain, and that’s when we discovered the ultimate ping-pong wager: the back slap. It’s diabolical on a bunch of levels. This is how it works: the loser pulls his shirt up and turns around while the winner hits the pong ball as hard as he can at his opponents back. It was hard to hit people at first, but once we discovered the correct swing, hit percentages went way up and all hell broke loose. Ever since, we’ve been sending people home with welts that would make a social worker cringe. But it’s taken on a new level of power lately, and these two poor dudes got the brunt of it. Chris Cote’s victim is on the left (Ryan “ringworm” Brower) and my handiwork is on the right, on James  “spider bite” Tull’s back. Brower’s welts may look gnarlier, but it’s ‘cause he has fair skin. Note the hit percentage on “spider bite’s” back: four out of four. Either way, ouch.

There are a few people here who refuse to play for back slaps, whose names I won’t mention (Justin Cote). We think they are scared. They say they’re not down with the homoerotic punishment.  There’s probably some truth to both. At any rate, if you want to come play on the Transworld table, this is the going price. Unless you’re a lot better than us, then we’re going back to beer, and we’ll toast to that.

A few years ago my favorite board of all time got creased while on a trip in El Salvador. My dumb ass tried to do an air, which I’ve never been able to do but was having a good session and got too amped up, and I launched one but got discombobulated in the air and did an elbow drop on my board when I landed and buckled it. I was super bummed, it was right in the middle of a great trip. At the same time the board had had a good life; I’d had it a while and it was pretty yellow and pressure dented. When I got home I put the buckled soldier back in my racks, planning to get it sewn up, but as I got new boards it slowly moved farther and farther back until it was hiding behind an 8’ softboard and I completely forgot about it. But two weeks ago I moved into a new place, and when I was packing up my boards I rediscovered the magic little yellow gem. It literally had cobwebs on it, but I cleaned them off and earlier this week I brought it to Walter’s ding repair shop across the street from Transworld and had them give it the bionic man treatment.

Well, I got it back today, and it’s turned me into a giddy little surf grom. The board is the color of Austin Powers’ grill and the deck looks like the Bagdad tarmac, but I’m amping to get it back in the water. Not only that, even though it’s thrashed, when I had it in the office today I was all paranoid about people picking it up, worried that they might drop it, even though I probably couldn’t even give it away on Craigslist. And of course, after having 67 days straight of rideable surf this summer, Friday goes flat. I’m taking that as a good sign. If you get a new board and the surf turns on, odds are you’ve got a pig.

We’ll see if it’s still got the magic. I don’t even care at this point, I’ve already built it up too much. I’m just stoked to have one of my favorite boards ever back at the front of the rack.

This has been just one of many sightings of “large” sharks in San Diego before and after the attack in Solana Beach back in April. I’ve been extremely paranoid about sharks since I was a little kid, and the only solace was growing up in San Diego, where there hasn’t ever been shark attack on a surfer (I’m pretty sure. The mag is for fact checking, my blog goes freeball). Anyways, the amount of shark sightings down here in the last six months have been off the charts. It’s slowed down in the last few months, but then I hear this story from Ponto and goddammit I’m freaked out again.

I know what you’re thinking. “Yeah right, people are just telling all sorts of bullshit stories because of the hype of the attack.” Maybe, but I have a firsthand account that adds to the hype. About a month before the attack I was surfing Blacks and there was a huge dead seal on the beach with a big-ass bit mark out of it. When I told other people I knew about it, they’d usually reply that they’d heard about a seal somewhere else in north county that had washed up with a bite mark, and many with their heads bitten off. Fun stuff. You want a story that would make you pee yourself a little? Tally the number of dead seals the lifeguards have hauled off the beach in the last four months. I don’t think they’d tell you, but I bet the number is crazy, and way up from previous years.

Some people think all the white shark activity down here could be linked to all the seals that have taken up residence at the Children’s Pool in La Jolla. While animal rights’ activists and local beach goers have been at war over that issue, surfers have mostly kept out of it, not thinking if affects them. Well, I’m no marine biologist, but when you leave food out, it’s only a matter of time before the ants show up.

welcome to the second installment, and let me explain the photo. The top one is a close-up pic of some guy’s inner ear i found on the internet. That sounded weird. Well, it’s an up close view of a medical condition known as Surfer’s Ear, or exostosis. It’s from wind and cold, and basically your ear canal tries to fuse itself closed to protect the ear drum from the elements. I have it, bad. Had it for a long time. Whenever i go to the doctor and they stick that weird pointed light in my ear they always have the same reaction: “Whooaaaa! (two second pause). Do you surf?”

Yep. And the way they fix it is to drill it out. Literally. The growths are rock hard calcium, and it’s not supposed to be that much fun (that’s what the second picture is of, the same guy’s ear canal after getting drilled out). Supposedly there’s something like a 20% chance they’ll bust your ear drum when they do it. More fun. My ears are 95% closed, but they’ve been that way for about ten years. I’ve worn ear plugs every single time i’ve surfed in that time.

But, enough whinging, because the whole purpose of this little blog is to tell you about the plus side to Surfer’s Ear. I was told by a doctor that even at 95% closure your hearing isn’t effected. But occasionally pretending that you’re a geriatric and can’t hear can be a great card to play, so i’ve mostly kept this little fact a secret. Say the wife gets mad because she told you to take the trash out and you forgot. “Sorry, Surfer’s Ear, I didn’t hear you.” Or you burn someone. “Sorry, didn’t hear you hoot—surfer’s ear.” Or someone asks you a dumb question. “Surfer’s Ear!!!!!!” Thank you Surfer’s Ear, I may never drill you out!

if you’re reading this, then you’ve found your way on to our blogs page. Congratulations, a lot of people out there still have no clue what a blog is. This is but a fraction of many cool new things on our relaunched site. There are oodles of new features we’re rolling out; interactive spot maps, you can upload your own videos and pics, you can rate our articles, send us messages, and tons more stuff. It may say Transworld SURF up top, but we want you to think of it as your own, as well.

At any rate, this is my first blog posting, so let me tell you what you’ll be in for in the future if you visit my weird little corner of the site. Basically, I’ll be letting you behind the curtain at Transworld SURF. Everything from what an average day at the magazine is like (including tallys of number of mom jokes told per day and the top five zingers), what pro surfers we’ve smashed on the Transworld ping-pong table lately (Austin Smith Ford and Matt Rockhold were the last victims), the last reported shark sightings around here, my latest embarrassing surf story, and maybe some previews of what we’ve got coming up in the next mag. And, of course, anything else you want to hear about. So check back here, and drop me a line anytime.

casey koteen

managing editor